What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
