If i come over, it means nothing
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
