Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
