Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
