I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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