the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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