I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize