STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
