i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I love you. Go after that dick
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
