butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I understand Curling. That high.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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