Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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