On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
