You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We won't sleep together?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
