you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
