Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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