sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
