I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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