Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
