Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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