I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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