they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
