i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
