Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I didn't notice because vodka
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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