He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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