guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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