My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
