My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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