so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
