i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
