its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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