Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
