We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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