Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
