After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
