new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
