we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
