im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
