Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
