I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
