meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
