he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
