Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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