If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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