i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I looked at my own cervix.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
soo... how was my night?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
