I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
