i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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