i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
