Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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