Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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