the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
